Go Ahead and Cry Yourself to Sleep & Think How You Hate Me So Bad

I am like a meteor crashing down on you,
Hoping to make an impact on your world,
But out of sight and heart,
It took less time to get me out of your mind.
I am taking my nose out of your business,
Your eyes are closed to me and I seek to do the same,
I am the drama queen who can't seem to move away,
Let me fill my life with distractions and falsified things,
Until I find my reality.

I Promise You I Will Bring You Hope

Delve farther into You-
Mystery and shaded ambiguities.
If I concentrate-on You- it
would distract my mind from
unceasing hurt-churning hurt.
Meditate upon Your Word and
make the One seek You to find me.

Want To Break You Down

Twisting swirling sadness,
I am going down the tubes,
I take it all in but I can never slow down,
This whole time it was not about you,
You're good as gone,
Oh this is over.

Did You Think That I'm Not Worth Your Time

Open sores and oozing pain that I do not deserve nor want,
It took little to no time for you to get over me,
I am glad that I meant so much to you,
Did you think that I am not worth your time?
I can't believe that this affected me so directly,
But the unfairness strikes me to the core as well as
your cold and callous demeanor when it comes to anyone
but yourself. I pray that one day I will be allowed to rid my
heart of pain and my mind of betrayal,
And trust me, I plan on working you out of my life.
I am not one that you should have messed with,
I provide the vindictive poison pen that you lack,
Though you claim to write your thoughts that pertain
to me and how it was all about me
when all I ever thought about was you.
That is no longer the case no matter how much it is wished,
Whatever hopes I had of reconciliation are dashed down my cheeks,
As I cry for what was and I scream for the pain.
You are unfair.

Did It Scream Enough to Make You Cry

Silent whispers down the pane,
Melting diamonds descending,
Incessantly present in all ways,
A waterfall out of a hill,
A lake out of a dip in the road,
Bespeaking the tears of those who cannot,
Melting away the sorrow.
It is it's own release,
No need for others empathy,
Pouring out of the sky as readily
as it pours out of my pen,
So we can move on.

She's Attractive But Bitter

Never feeling more alone than in a group full of people,
I thirst for someone to get, to know, to understand,
A pitiless and bruised individual warrants no love,
But that is all that I seem to be striving to be.
I have a cache of happiness allotted for each day,
Use it up, I'm a faker, I'll use it all on you,
Just to make you believe that my make believe is real.

The Girl's a Straight Up Hustler

What I wouldn't give to be your dancing beauty queen,
With a smile that shines and eyes that twinkle,
Hair long and controlled with skin clear and perfect,
and no body issues or a cynical attitude.
Let us forget that I am me-
With a smile that could use some whitening,
Eyes that have never had much twinkle,
Hair up because it does not want to be controlled,
With my body issues and my cynical attitude.

What I wouldn't give to have you falling at my feet,
Dangling in my snared web of compliments and pretty words.
I'd have you wrapped up in pretended perfection,
While I was precariously perched on the princess pedestal.
The real me is more apt to fumble over words,
Wanting to take back the idiotic thing I said
and replace it with the witty remarks in my mind.
I am liable more to point out your flaws,
because I have never been blinded by pretended perfection.

What I wouldn't give not to need you or your love,
Only keeping you around to bolster my inflated ego,
The sidelines would be your best friend and my fallback,
I'd grant you a kiss as likely I'd grant you a hug.
But I am me, and I need your comfort,
In the form of a long cuddle smelling your cologne,
Realizing that I need love and lots of it though
I desperately search in all of the wrong places.