I'm not someone's hero. I haven't done anything that I believe deserves merit or recognition. I have made decisions when events come my way, and I never knew if they were right at the time, but they were right for me. Does this somehow make me a special person? I understand that my life has been a difficult one and that a lot of other people would have turned and walked away from reality a long time ago. But I've always kept my feet firmly planted on solid ground. This doesn't make me special. I think I'm more scared than anything else. I am scared that I am comfortable in my unhappiness while at the same time I long for the gentle lapping of life, instead of a crashing wave. I understand that I am more comfortable in uncomfortable situations, but that is only because I understand how to deal with those better. That doesn't make me admirable, smart, special, extraordinary, commendable or what have you. That makes me pitiful.