Maybe These Clouds Can Become Brighter

Let me fake intelligence for you,
Let me tell you what you want to hear,
Just to let you know, there is no truth,
I'm lying to you, my thoughts are too dear.
Just enough to scrape by,
That is all I have ever seen,
If I actually told you my truths,
Farther back you would lean
into your own lies.
Wrapped around you like a blanket,
Comforting and safe you do not question,
But oh I am sick of watching you fake it.
Little by little your blanket unravels,
Sparse and bare it willl leave you
naked and turned to the present,
Collapsing is all you think you can do.
But as much as it hurts,
I will hold you up,
Let me be your Atlas,
I will be the water in your cup.
You deserve salvation,
Though you never gave me the chance,
Life holds nothing for you now,
It's lies are as a good as a barb and a lance.
Though sometimes I don't think you deserve it,
I cannot stand by and watch you fall,
Though I cannot seem to,
You deserve a chance to stand tall.

Let The Flames Begin

I hate the way I make myself feel,
My mind tears me down,
My heart feels the hurt and can't heal,
I'm getting too small for this town.
You only hold me up like this,
But you don't know who I really am,
I am not one you would miss,
Because I truly don't give a damn.
I know I am just a face in that crowd,
Another confusion to add to the mess,
I've been torn down by insults too loud,
It has broken my spirit I must confess.
I wish I could matter to myself at all,
But I've never had any love left to give,
All I can do is watch myself fall,
Sometimes I have to struggle to want to live.
I have broken myself down,
How can I build myself up,
No way out have I known,
Maybe it's time to forge my own path.

"You're a Falling Star"

It is so hard to go back.
To life and to school,
When I spent so much time
In your heart.
Oh I miss you,
The hole is ripping open again,
Please come back
I need you here.
You make me feel perfect,
And that is not an easy task,
You make everything perfect,
I want you to come back.
But I can't force you,
I can't hold you here,
I wish that I could,
Oh how do I wish I could.
You have your life to lead,
And I have mine,
But the days I get to see you,
Are the ones that I cherish.
Your smell,
Your face,
Your heart,
Your eyes,
The way you love me,
I love it all.

For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

The truth is too bold for you,
You look at me with questioning eyes,
How can I see the world as it is,
Thanks to life I'm just too wise.
I'll force you to see,
Though you struggle with the sights,
Cynicism and realism are the same,
The corset of this facade is just too tight.
We're taught to accept,
Don't ask to many questions,
But oh I have so many,
Let me take the time to mention--
I'm a question in itself.
I do not accept normal truths,
To me they are just lies,
Those who do not question are all fools,
The cause of all the world's sighs.
If you take truth with wit,
Or with a story to cover its meaning,
As long as it comes across to you,
It will come with suffering.
But in that comes growth,
And uncovered truths will force change,
The world will not stay as it is,
I will force you to see.

Alcohol Memories

You loved it more than us.
More than you.
More than life.
Because you wanted to escape,
You left us behind forever.
You did not want to remember,
Your imprint is left on those behind,
They are following in your footsteps,
And now I am the only one remembering.
Too young.
Too hurt.
My childhood was smashed and I was thrust
into adulthood.
Because you didn't love us enough.
You didn't love me enough.
But oh how I miss you,
But hate you at the same time.
The smell lingers in the air,
The bloodshoot eyes haunt my memories,
The slurs permeate my thoughts,
I'm sick of remembering.

Face Down, Fists Up

I'm a hard burned cynic,
I know the world as it is,
Life isn't a Kinkade painting,
Though I don't mean to diss
his ideals. You think you make the rules,
But the world comes with its own,
You succumb to them easier than you know,
Life's perfection is going down.
But if down is where I am going,
I will go down swinging.

Thought

You see but you are blind
You hear but you are deaf
It is not a pretty world
But it is who we are

Here We Go Again

I'm just too serious
You're just delirious
Choke on that drama
That I caught with my camera
I'll move on my dear
But I'll leave you here
Spineless and immature
For once you're not so sure
I'll kill you with words
That's all you deserve
Wrapped up in lies
Like last nights used sheets, oh my
who knew you could go
down so low
You're the one that they loved
But I'm calling your bluff
Not stunned by your false pretense
No there's nothing left to confess
You're in the wrong
Not even worth a line in a song
It's too late to plead
Your turn to follow my lead
So I will kill you with words
For that's all you deserve

Count Me In

You play me like a piano,
What key is it today,
I may be the narrator of my life,
But I do not have a say.
Let me spin you a tale,
Of heartache and tears,
But that is overplayed,
Nothing you want to hear.
But oh my dear,
I may not be famous,
But don't tell me a tale,
You are so shameless.
I will try to find a way,
Don't speak a word,
To make the things that I say,
A little more obvious.
You don't understand,
Your lips move,
But I can't hear a thing,
You misunderstood all of the above,
and you are still trying to fix it.
You are incompetent,
You're down so low,
You still don't know what I meant.

Shameless

Of my own mind
I do not fit in
with the followers
But I do not meld
Pointed out as different
Belittled and persecuted
The struggle to make me fit
into the mold
I broke the mold
I am not the same
I have struggled and discovered pain
Life has not been fair
But I have learned
More than you
I broke the mold

Six Feet Under the Stars

Lie to yourself
Put on that front
Shove the feelings on a shelf
Make it all ok
you can't face it
The pain is too much
But soon the waves will hit
And you will collapse
You think noone knows
But oh they can see
that you put on a show
You are lying to yourself
Laugh it off
But your eyes betray you
They are haunted and your soft
gaze hardens
You harden
until you can't feel anymore

House of Wolves

No
You can't unzip my lips
There's reasons why I'm down so low
I'm never going to let anything slip
out loud
My feelings are mine
I know the hurt they will cause
Not a line
Nothing to make you pause
Farther down I go
Complete corrosion is just around the corner
There's nothing I can do
At my funeral there will be no mourner
crying for me
Battered and bruised
Oh please don't light my fuse
Just watch me implode

The End.

Distance is far between us
But am I still close to you
Oh am I still close
My life made me
But now it is rippng me apart
Ripping us apart
You should just leave me
I am damaged goods
Too broken to forget
Too shattered to move on
But oh am I selfish
I need you to keep me together
Please keep me together
I am falling apart
Breath is impossible
My chest is collapsing in on me
Oh I need to breathe
But where can I find the strength