Fake Smile, Real Pain, Times Have Changed

The only twinkle in your eye,
Is the flash of the camera,
Stoic and unchangeable,
Hardened face into permanent perfection.
The smile has not reached your eyes
in quite some time,
You have all but forgotten what happy is.
The past is thus,
Mental grimace and fake smile,
But now is different.
Your days are brighter,
Maybe it is the way he makes you smile,
Real smiles,
Full of laughter and blushing in pleasure,
He is cracking your exterior fortress,
Willing you surrender.
Maybe it is the way that the weight is off
your shoulders and your mind,
For once it is about how things affect you,
Not about what you can give others,
Like how you gave them your soul for years,
Why it never showed up in pictures
because it was never yours to possess.
But now, oh goodness, now,
The twinkle in your eye is there,
A merrily kept secret that time has changed,
You are happy.

It's The Way He Makes Her Fall

What a fool I have been to think you would change,
Once before I fell and got caught up in hope, your range
of lies that were dressed up to impress,
Still I am stuck, still I wish, but now I am less
willing to begin again, I would pick being alone
over checking my messages and chucking my phone
into the walls, into the bed, anywhere at all,
Because that is what I get for the falling
again, I wish you were out of my mind,
My head aches and my heart hurts, unkind.
Your words were smooth, coated with honey I never meant
to get so warmed by the thought of want and need, quickly I bent
farther and faster into your trap.
I am not your whore, someone to fill the gap,
I stumbled and fell and I gave you a second chance,
You took it, you broke it, a shattered lance,
My mistake for believing in you and your promises,
All I wanted was someone to believe in me and my promise,
You have broken me further.
Maybe you will say I never meant to hurt her,
It was all just in fun, no hearts on the line,
Those lies hurt me more than not calling you mine,
The older I get, the less wise I become, because I seem
to forget that there is more hurt than love, my dream
is that I can forget you and leave.
My conviction is that I wish I had never believed.

I Am You & You Are Me, We Are Together

I am nothing outside of myself,
And I am everything.
Maybe I have forgotten the line,
I have left myself behind.
Outside of myself,
And inside of my head, inescapable.
Mysterious mysteries is a repeated redundancy,
And so am I.
I am nothing inside of myself,
But I am everything.
My face is your face and it is beautiful,
We are together and we are not.
I am an antithetical statement,
Everything and nothing.
I am nothing but myself.

Soon She'll Find Out What His Intentions Were About

My mistake letting my memory misplace,
What you did before,
I never thought you would hurt me again.
The saying goes, "Fool me once--
shame on you,
Fool me twice, shame on me."
Yes, it has always been about me,
Inner searching to see my faults,
Because they must be the reason
you will never stay.
My mistake making my mouth smile,
It let you know that you had affect,
Control is something I do not give freely,
But there is something about you--
it won me over.
My mistake for thinking maybe I...
had a shot with you,
am worth falling for,
are loveable enough,
am captivating.
My mistake, you are misleading, my mistake.