Forget Yesterday, We'll Make The Great Escape

The dusk has settled heavily leaving the bruised night,
Absently thumbing the grasses underneath her arms,
Eyes closed, she sighs heavily and turns her eyes to the sight
of the stars glittering in the velvet black.

Her day was different than those she has had before,
Just when she thought that she was trapped in Hell,
She found that even Hell could have a trap door,
It was only a matter of time till things would change.

She knew not when life would bring her back to this place,
But the memories would stay for all of her days,
Her thoughts could weigh her down at a rapid pace,
Now was the time to put her plan into action.

Stiff from the lack of movement her body screams,
But she rises slowly, moving with utter conviction,
Pacing quickly into the house, grabs the bags that hold her dreams,
And moving quickly as to leave no trace, leaves the house behind.

They have made her this way, bitter and always unsettled,
The warm night air tangles her hair down her back,
Dragging her fingers through it she pauses, heedful
of all noise following her in her stead.

Her eyes are fierce and her back is ramrod straight,
No one will ever think to demean her again,
Halting, her steps have finally led her to the gate,
A new day is dawning and she only has one chance to go.

Jumping the fence she continues on without a backwards glance;
It wouldn't be the first time that she has been alone.

It's Higher And We're Scared To Death

The spring rain lightly sprinkles across their bright smiles
as he laughs deeply spinning her around, both grinning
they stumble together, falling to the ground,
fingers lace tightly as they face each other, giggles subsiding.
They make the shape of a heart, involuntarily,
she reaches out and strokes his cheek as he leans forward and seeks
her mouth, a light movement of a deeper meaning, he keeps
her close in his heart as he always has but now it is different, momentous.
His lips brush her ear as her eyes fall shut, the words causing her to flush
rosy pink, the sparkle grew in her eyes as her heart knew his truth.

"I love you"

We All Roll Along

We're all fine and you're still mine,
Though maybe this is the end of calling it pretend,
You say you want change and I say you have lost hope
of coming in range.
Really.
My soul is twisted,
So is my fist and the thought that you're first on my list,
Keeps me moving forward despite all the things I heard,
Some things--they never change.

Yeah You'll Be A Part of Me

It seems as if I am alone now,
Walking up the stairs,
I realized I had no one-
because the one I always talked to was you.
Wiping salty tears off my cheek,
I listen to you tell me it is all my fault,
The real you died a long time ago,
Alcohol has twisted up up and pulled you apart.
I remember your smiles,
Cuddled close to your heart,
That was how it used to be,
All I hear now is the constant yelling.
This cannot be the end,
Stomach churning and chest heaving,
I mourn for what has been lost,
Your self respect and my last shred of innocence,
I am worth more than you said I am.

Two-Sided

Trust me.
Why?
I will never end up like you,
I'm better than you think,
wrapped up in sorrows.
I dream of more than sadness.
My darkest night has faded fast,
Maybe that is true of you but,
while yours seems to just be beginning.
I have not succumbed to darkness.

Second Time Around

Amber liquid splashing,
hastily poured and unmindful of where it goes,
as long as it ends with two things-
burning down your throat as it alleviates you from thought.

Be mindful of the bottom.

You seem to think that happiness,
fleeting or full,
is found at the end of a wine bottle,
and another, and another.

I am drowning in your sorrow.

Loving you was not enough,
you had to constantly numb yourself,
from stupid and unnecessary pain,
leaving others (me) to clean you up in your dripping wake.

You will not find happiness with a bottle.

Empty promises were given time and time again,
I forgave you the blackouts,
I forgave you for being a sobbing mess,
but I still cannot forgive you for telling me I am worthless.

Be mindful of the bottom.

With every drop that you consumed,
you sought to gain happiness and forgetfulness,
and instead every gulp represents someone that despises you now.
I'm sorry to say that I am still one of them.

Fuck You.

I Will Never Believe In Anything Again

Such a pretty face.
That is all I ever hear,
paired with a heavy heart,
facing the mirror--
I hope it swallows me up.
Pinch here and another there,
maybe if I grab hard enough,
the flaws will shrink.
My eyes have deviated
"from what makes me beautful"
and is instead comparing,
constantly comparing,
myself to all the girls I am surrounded by.
How can I compete?
I constantly batter myself,
day and night,
telling myself I will change.
All I am left with is-
an emaciated self worth
and an obese self image-
besides the hatred I have for myself.
The tears do not seem to end,
as I want my mind to lie to me,
in a way that my eyes cannot.